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Why Achieving The ‘Singaporean Dream’ Wasn’t Enough And How I Found Clarity To Achieve My Career Goals & Feel Fulfilled
When you reach your 20s to 30s, then it hits you: you realize that for the next few decades, the path in your life is not as straightforward before.
For most Singaporeans, the first two decades of your life is pretty much set in stone.
You probably know the typical Singapore journey looks like this:
‘A’ Levels/Poly Diploma/IB
Start Working A Well Paid Job
Get Married & Settle Down
‘A’ Levels/Poly Diploma
Start Working A Well Paid Job
Get Married & Settle Down
Academic success and financial success seems to be what the Singaporean dream is all about.
But does achieving this necessarily mean that you’ll be happy with your life?
Recently, more and more people in their 20s and 30s are experiencing ‘Quarter Life Crisis’. Coined by Clinical Psychologist Alex Fowke, it is defined as a period in a young adult’s life when they feel lost, lonely and confused about their path in life. They feel that they are not satisfied with where they are in their life. And they are stressed as they feel that time is running out for them.
A 2017 LinkedIn survey, revealed that feeling loss about life is most likely felt by those between the age of 25 and 28. In Singapore, the LinkedIn study shows that 4 in 5 young professionals in Singapore have experienced a quarter life crisis before.
Singapore ranked 4th among 16 countries included in the study.
This may lead to challenges like frequent job hopping, underperforming at work or feeling unhappy even though they are excelling in their careers.
Close to 70% of respondents in Singapore say they want help to figure out next steps, but are clueless where to get help.
So what’s missing in their life?
Hi, I’m Loo Mei Yee, the Program Leader and Professional Certified Life Coach at Live Your Mark. We specialize in personal development programs that unlock possibilities in people for transformation.
I was raised by typical Asian (tiger) parents in Brunei, and have lived in Singapore for 10+ years, so the Singapore dream resonates deeply with me.
As a result, I grew up to be a driven and overachieving person. At my first job, I was awarded the President Award (Top Sales) for my performance and contribution. Subsequently, I became one of the top 10% employees at an MNC I worked for when I moved to Canada.
Despite my achievements, I felt that something about my life was amiss but I couldn’t quite point my finger on it. I tried to go for counseling but it didn’t seem to help.
At one point I was hospitalized because the level of stress that I was experiencing as a high performer at work, caused me to develop stomach ulcers.
But eventually, I brushed it off again, thinking, “That’s just life..."
However, after that hospital incident, there were more days where I find myself sitting alone at home and staring at the door for up to 12 hours, contemplating the meaning of life.
One day, my daze was interrupted by a call from my brother who was based in Singapore. The first thing that caught my attention was how happy and fulfilled he sounded. I had to ask him what was different in his life. Never did I know how that question would change my life:
“Did you change jobs?” - No.
“You got a new girlfriend?” - No.
Turns out he just got a promotion at the insurance company that he was working at. He revealed that his secret was a transformational programme he attended – the TruSelf® Creation Course.
I was intrigued by how quickly the program helped him to achieve his career goals while making him feel fulfilled, something that I was trying to achieve myself but with no progress.
At first, I wasn’t convinced by him. A few more weeks passed, and I was still going around in circles. So I took a leap of faith, packed my bags and flew to Singapore to attend the same transformational programme.
Leaving my senior position as a Regional Manager was difficult and when I told my parents, I could hear how shocked they were over the phone. For the first time, I felt like I had let them down...
Of course I had my doubts at first about the transformational course.
For someone who has achieved many academic and financial successes in life, I thought that if I myself couldn’t fix what was missing in my life, what chance did some stranger have in getting me what I wanted?
I was expecting it to be like one of the counseling sessions that I had attended previously back in Canada, which weren’t useful for me.
Or like one of those feel good “ra-ra” sessions that you sometimes see at company team bonding sessions or retreats.
But I couldn’t be more wrong.
I feel that words can’t do the experience justice but if I had to describe it...
It was a safe space where I could share openly without being judged, and ask questions that guided my thoughts and feelings as I examined me and my life. I was able to dive deep into my psyche and learnt about how I behave the way I did.
One of the key takeaways is that we grow up being ‘programmed’ by what our parents and society tells us. Being young and impressionable, we just accept them as truths/facts.
But this evidence-based programme showed me that it doesn’t have to be this way. We can question why we do certain things and start to take control of what we lost control of.
That was the beginning of my journey to live my life by my own terms, which was so liberating. After the programme, whenever I achieved any goals in life or work, it felt more fulfilling because it was what I truly wanted.
Through my own transformation, I personally saw how life coaching could change people at their core and help them make changes to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives. That’s why I decided to become a professional life coach certified by the International Coach Federation.
I applied the many realizations that I gained from the programme into my life, which accelerated my growth in my newfound career.
From being promoted to the role of general manager within a year...to becoming a certified life coach trainer and becoming a program leader, I can attribute my career success to the transformation I allowed myself to have.
Thanks to transformational work and life coaching, I’m in a career that I truly enjoy and doing what I genuinely believe in.
Transformation Stories & Career Achievements...
I gained confidence, courage and self esteem. Also a lot of the feeling of insecurity has diminished. Than tangible result is my relationship with my family and the amount of artworks that I've produced my office job has increased.
TCC was a great experience to really be in touch with my emotional side.It was something that I wouldn't have been able to experience anywhere else. MCW is great in the way that I could teach myself a sense of urgency and discipline.
Thank you to all coaches and assistants. You have been great help to me, my family, people around me and I believe through ECI, if it possible live in a better that we all desire.
Erwin Sukamto, Architect
Confidence is everything in my job as a Consultant. I was once removed from an account because I was not seen as being confident around a client. What I learned from TCC is that I react negatively to being made responsible. So, I told myself one thing, that people will always have a reason why they react a certain way, including myself.
Since TCC, my goal when faced with a strong reaction is not to freeze,but to try to understand where the reaction is coming from. What I realized is that confidence is rooted in knowledge, or rather awareness.When you have a higher perspective, it starts that journey into appreciating and loving yourself and others more and because of that, confidence just comes naturally as a by-product.
This realization has impacted me so significantly in all my relationships at work and more importantly, outside it, like in my family and it hasn’t even been a month since I took TCC.
Milbert Sosmeña, Consultant
If you fall under any of the categories above and you currently feel like there is something missing in your life despite your achievements/successes in your career...
Stop worrying! I’m here to guide you along in your journey of self-discovery and transformation to help you achieve your goals and feel fulfilled.
To reach out to as many people as possible and share what I’ve learnt over the years about personal development, I’m conducting a COMPLIMENTARY workshop – and you are invited!
Many people in Singapore have never heard of life coaching and transformational work. And even if they have heard about it, many still tend to be skeptical about it, including myself.
That’s why we want to reach out to you. For the first time, we are running a FREE 1-day workshop for you to come and experience how our programme can transform your life – starting with improving your work performance.
Presenting... TruSelf™ Creation Workshop (FREE)
Many people in Singapore have never heard of life coaching. And if they hear about it for the first time, many tend to be skeptical about it, including myself.
That’s why in our bid to help people, we are running a FREE workshop for you to experience it for yourself and see how it can transform your life and improve your work performance.
In this practical 1-day workshop, here’s what you’ll learn:
Live Your Mark is a life coaching company involved in developmental and transformational work for individuals since 2003.
Our founder, Kelvin Lim, worked with the late Thomas Leonard (known as the Father of Coaching) and became the first Master Coach in Southeast Asia. He has been developing unique technologies to train coaches and transform lives that we collectively call, the TruSelf® method since 2003.
Our TruSelf® approach has transformed the lives of over 5,000 people from all walks of life.
Live Your Mark is a life coaching company that is involved in developmental and transformational work for individuals.
Our founder, Kelvin Lim, worked with the late Thomas Leonard (know as the Father of Coaching) and became the first Master Coach in Southeast Asia.He sat on the Ethics and Standards Board of the International Coach Federation in its formative years and developed the technology to train coaches.
All our life coaches have completed the Professional Coach Training Program™(PCTP).This program is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF), which is the leading global organization for coaches with more than 22,000 members in over 100 countries. This means the certificate is recognized worldwide.
The TruSelf™ Method is a unique technology developed by Kelvin himself from more than 10 years of empowering people and transforming their lives.
It is our life coaching approach and the exact system that we’ve used to change the lives of over 5,000 people from all walks of life.
The method consists of:
Our Proprietary 9 Core Conversations™ Model
5 Pillars Of Work For Evolution
Using the TruSelf™ Method, we’re able to:
95% of our students experience a significant life transformation after working with us.
Our Promise To You
You can ask us as many questions as you want. In fact, the more questions you ask the better. We welcome questions because it shows that you care about your life and you are putting in effort to get to know you.
The truth is those who are most skeptical (including myself when I first started) turn out to experience the most transformations.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can TruSelf® Creation Course really change my life?
Like what we always tell our students, we cannot force you to take action. We have the ‘How’ but you have the ‘Why’. Only you can decide if you want change your life.
Will I be able to apply what I learn and how fast can I see results?
Yes, there will be opportunities for you to apply the knowledge at the workshop itself. You’ll participate in facilitated group discussions and examine your life.
Why can’t I just learn this from self-help/personal development books?
Yes, you can definitely pick up a self-help book, and we are almost certain you have gone through many books. But what are the odds that you’ll actually apply what you read? More likely than not, you’ll just end up with the intellectual knowledge only.
On top of that, each person is different and has a different set of problems. A book will only be able to guide you to a certain extent.
With a life coach and through careful facilitation, you’ll be held accountable to take action. Our trainers and coaches are trained to customize the TruSelf® approach based on your personal issues and goals.
Will there be any hard selling during the workshop?
We don’t believe in hard selling. The transformation journey begins with a personal decision to want to change your life. We cannot force you into it.
I don’t have anything to work on in my life. How can you help me?
There is always something that you can improve on as a human being, even if you don’t realize or don’t want to admit it at first. If this is where you are at, we’ll guide you so you can discover your direction on your own.
Is it compulsory for me to participate during the group discussions?
We understand that some people may not be comfortable talking about their personal issues in a group setting, and we respect your privacy. All we ask is that you turn up, listen and apply it on yourself, even if you are sitting quietly in one corner of the room.
Having said that, active participation helps you understand yourself better and more effectively. Nevertheless, we have students who are introverted and still achieve their goals.
Is this related to any religion?
No. Our participants come from different types of religion and beliefs. There are no religious teachings involved in the workshop or course.
Are You Ready To Transform Your Life?
Albert Einstein said that, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
There is no better time to start changing your life then now. The longer you wait, the longer you are left wondering and stuck in limbo, searching for answers to no avail.
(Note: This is not just a sit and listen workshop. You’ll get to learn and apply the skills immediately.)
In this practical 1-day workshop, here’s what you’ll learn:
If you’d like to know what living a fulfilling and meaningful life can look like while still achieving your goals in your career, then join me at the upcoming TruSelf® Creation Workshop.
Date: 17 May (Sunday)
Time: 2pm to 5pm
Cost: $488 FREE (Limited seats available)
Venue: Online Session
Live Your Mark
Oxley Bizhub 1,69 Ubi Road 1,#09-27/28